Today, I’ll take you on a journey with me.
You are living together with your boyfriend/husband and he comes back from work. It’s hot as hell outside and he takes a shower. You waited for him and he’s in a good mood.
Then he tells you to get lemon juice from the store and you dare to say why not going together to the big store since you need stuff as well. He says no.
He then needs to rest for 30 minutes and you chill on the bed until he gets ready because you washed your hair 2 hours ago and feel so relaxed.
After 10 minutes he starts with how dirty the sink is and the stove and how you must immediately get up and clean it. Several times.
Everything while still laying down and you are as well.
You say…I will get up in 20 minutes when you get up. I want to rest too.
Him starting with how he does everything in this house from working his ass off and cooking (for himself) and putting a roof over your head and you can’t even keep a kitchen clean.
Back and forth…back and forth.
He accuses and you defend yourself.
Slurping sounds coming from where he sits up now.
Him storming into your room while holding his plate with food in his hand.
You getting up because he is towering over your body.
He stares at you and you stand right in front of him, staring back. He sees you holding your ground and pushes you backwards with his hand around your throat because “you were threatening him” standing so close.
You go in another room but he still rambles how you fuck these and those guys and you are all disrespecting him in his house.
He spits while yelling. Bits of food falling on your clean floor.
You go away to get the mob and start cleaning just to get away from him. But now it’s about you and “don’t throw shit at me” when a piece of something from the mob is touching him.
Next thing you know is you have a plate of food slashing against your head, your fresh washed hair and clothing you had just put on. Your mind goes dizzy because you didn’t expect him to do that. How could this happen? Were did the man you once loved, go? HOW could this happen??
You stand there in disbelief…until you start moving. You are hitting the shower and he disappears into another room.
You go into the kitchen and see one single plate in the sink and he used it 5 minutes before he started the argument.
Or did your refusal to get the lemon juice tick him off?
You will never know.
You can’t win. You can’t change a guy in a relationship. You can only make choices that are your own. He doesn’t want to change anything. He’s happy. And abusive…
This is just a regular day in an abusive relationship.
Based on true experiences.