My advice right in the beginning:
Seriously…don’t do it!
It’s one of the rules of “the girl code” that you never mess with the ex of a friend of yours!
You might think she’s over her last relationship, but you can’t see into her heart.
She might said she doesn’t care about him anymore but that doesn’t mean she won’t see it as a betrayal on your part.
There are so many guys out there. Literally billions. Don’t pick this one guy just because he asks you out or because you have the hots for him.
I do understand that some people out there won’t understand why I’m so much against this. In my opinion your girl friends boyfriends and exes are off limits. They are simply invisible or non-existent as physical bodies.
Maybe you know the ex a bit better because he’s in your friend circle from the times he was still together with your bestie. If you are single for awhile you might just crave some human contact…if you know what i mean.
But you should stop yourself right there. You can get a hookup anywhere. Is it really worth it to possibly destroy a friendship because of an urge? It’s seems so easy to just go with it but it comes with consequences.
Maybe it’s my strong moral and loyalty compass that just screams NO! Your girl friends are your friends and go through thick and thin companions. The ones you can trust. A man comes and goes. A girlfriend will be honest where a new guy will not because he wants to shake the bed with you. It ain’t worth it to trade a friendship for sex.
And most of all, imagine how it would feel if the roles were reversed.
You may say whatever or fuck it, I don’t care, but if one of your besties suddenly decided to start humping your ex, would you be supportive or forgiving?
There’s a reason why your ex is your ex and even your friends don’t know every single detail that lead to the break up.
Did you ever have a relationship end in heated arguments and fights and pretty strong choice words? I’m pretty sure the answer to this is yes. Now imagine your friend brings your ex around again. Awkward doesn’t even nearly describe what you will be feeling.
You will most likely feel pissed off.
Also…you had sex with this person. How do you feel knowing he’s screwing your bestie now? If you feel even a slightest bit uncomfortable now, you shouldn’t do that to her either.
Thirdly, …there’s always the chance the ex tries to get back at you with shacking up with your bestie, knowing it grinds your nerves. Especially when he knows you still have feelings and/or the breakup was nasty. Just no, no, no.
And it’s funny that we see this kind of thing happen in films and on TV, like it’s the norm – it is NOT!
I just saw the vampires diaries and oh hell naw, Elena hopping through the beds of first Stefan and then his brother Damien and somehow they end up with Stefan giving his blessing to his brother and his now ex? This would end in a family feud in real life.
Anyone familiar with Friends will be fully aware of how often they swapped and shared partners. It was so damn weird to watch.
When I claim you as BFF I put my trust in you. It’s about honesty and showing respect and not crossing boundaries.
Dating my ex, even I don’t want him back ever, undermines the latter two, bringing a sense of betrayal I personally wouldn’t ever forgive.
And this goes for both genders. If you are a guy, don’t date/hookup with your friend’s ex.
So, this are my reasons not to date your friend’s ex. You might feel different about it. If so, at least don’t do this behind your friends back. Be honest and tell her. There’s always a worst case scenario and in this case it’s to hear it from the ex or rumors. Hopefully you will never be in this situation.