For those that know me, I have always been a glass-half-full person, and despite the many challenges I’ve had to overcome in my life I’ve always been the type of person to find the silver lining in any and all situations. I have always had this belief, that God and I have had this connection from a very young age, and I have always known that I was given CP (Cerebral Palsy) to teach the world acceptance and tolerance.
I also strongly believe that while my relationship with God has always been strong, it has also been very real and honest one. Lately, however, my faith in his “mysterious ways” has puzzled, me more.
I have questioned him a lot more in this past year than usual. When life hits you with something unfathomable, like your dad coming home and telling you that he has cancer, well, that sucks the air right out of your world. Cancer is like a pendulum that is always hanging overhead.
I won’t lie and say to you, that despite my dad’s diagnosis, that I didn’t want to abandon my faith altogether and become a hardcore atheist I did. And if I am being totally honest, that moment is still in the back of my head where I think to myself, “what if I stopped believing in you altogether? Would you start paying attention to us? And ease up on the shit storms for a while”?
But, you did answer me. More than once. And one of those answers goes by the name of Christopher. When I first met Chris, I had absolutely no idea how much he would mean to me or that he would keep me from falling down the dark hole of atheism.
But he has.
And to me, that is the ultimate gift of love-when someone saves you from yourself in the middle of one of the darkest times of your life. He instantly became my amazing grace taking me from the dark and returning me to the light again.
This April will mark our 3 years together, and yes I say together despite being in a long-distance relationship, I have never been so close to anyone like I have with Chris. Before I met my Chris, I found out a very harsh truth about people and that was that most of them are out for themselves, and if you pay attention people will show you exactly who they are when the mask finally falls.
There is saying we have all heard of, and it goes as follows: “You’ll be extremely disappointed if you expect someone to have the same heart as you.” That was very true for me until I met Chris. I know what you’re thinking, “‘oh please.”
But if you were honest with yourselves you know that what I am saying is true. When you find someone who you connect with on every level that is special, but when you meet someone where there is that, but also allows you to show and be your true and authentic self. And Chris not only welcomes that, but he cherishes it.
Now, before you start your protest of, “but I am always my true self in front of everyone.” If you truly stopped and looked at yourself, you’d realize that may not be entirely true, and that’s okay.
But, I digress. Christopher is more than just my mirrored other half, he is the part of my heart that I never knew was missing. Or that I was in need of. One of the lessons life has taught me, is that life can show you the truth about priorities, and no matter how busy it can get life will not only give you moments of remembrance, but he will always place people in your life, and the ones that stay when the change of season ends, endures the storms with you with nothing more than their presence, loyalty, and faith-those types of people are your people, the keepers.
Christopher is my keeper in this life and hopefully with God’s permission, my keeper in the next life too.