My Journey to Finding My Muse

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My Journey to Finding My Muse

The one and only full time job I had after I graduated from college is lecturing. I know nothing else. Although I am a law graduate, I did not attend my pupillage like my classmates do so that was the only profession I am apt for.

To be an academician. It was not a burden to me since I love teaching and had fallen in love with the job since the day I reported duty. As a law lecturer, I get to teach law to law and non-law students.

I like teaching the non-law students more because they usually do not have any background in law so their faces would light up whenever I teach them new lessons on law.

For more than ten years, that was what I was doing. Going to lectures and tutorials, marking test papers and examinations, invigilating and attended many other academic duties. My whole life revolved around all these.

I was at the faculty from morning till night, sometimes during weekends too. At that point of time, I thought that since I had started my career as a lecturer, I would also end it being the same. The feeling of quitting had never entered my mind. Not in a million years.

Little did I know life can always surprise you in ways that you can never imagine. That was what happened to me two years ago.

Initially, I was transferred from the faculty to a remote branch far up in the north. It would take at least five hours of driving to get there from where I currently stay. I was already not happy with the news but I was trying to be positive and took it as a challenge.

I went there with the hope of continuing my career which had already turned into a passion. Teaching was still a breeze to me, no matter where I am located at. However, the feeling of rejection for being transferred was something I could not ignore and it was eating me inside. I was truly unhappy. After nine months at the new place, I applied to be relocated to a branch that was nearer to my home, about one hour of driving.

Being nearer to home made me feel content again. I was able to increase my focus in doing my job albeit not fully. I continued going to lectures and tutorials and was even assigned to be the Coordinator for my department. The duty as a Coordinator had taken most of my hours and I knew I was neglecting my primary duty to teach.

There were meetings every day with the higher management and sometimes they were scheduled at places far away from home. I was always exhausted by the time I reached home. I have to admit that sometimes I went to classes unprepared, not knowing what to teach that day because I was too busy even to glance at the syllabus beforehand.

When there were talks again for lecturers to be reshuffles to other branches, I froze. I just could not take the transfer anymore. My husband and I had settled down and just bought a house. We could not sustained paying for the mortgage and also for the rent at the new place, if I was to be transferred again. For months, I could not think straight and was walking around the campus like a zombie.

I was really not happy of being transferred here and there and all I could see at that time was quitting the job. Yet, I was not strong enough to make such decision because I still have my monthly commitments.

My husband could see that I was near to entering the depression mode so he made me sat on the kitchen’s stool and we had a long discussion about whether or not I should resign from the job.

I remember the love in his eyes when he told me that he was willing to pick up the slacks in our financial commitments but we also had to do some major cut backs in our spending. After the midnight talk and some reassurance from my husband, I submit my one month notice to resign the very next day.

My boss was less than happy when he heard about the news. He actually wanted to meet my husband and asked him whether he knew what my move was. My colleagues, they were criticizing my decision and were talking behind my back. Some of them were saying how imprudent my action was to let go of my full time job when the economy of the nation was not stable.

Some of them were daring enough to ask, what would I eat to continue living. I have to say that I actually agreed to what they said. I made the decision to resign without a backup plan.

After I resigned and became a full time housewife, my students were still contacting me asking for guidance, be it educational or personal. I was more than happy to assist them. At the very least, the communications I had with them killed the boredom of being at home doing nothing. The strangest thing happened to me after I spent some time listening to their problem.

I found that I was responding to them with writing. It was always what I had done before, the advices and encouragements were still the same. I had done it over and over again but always in the rush because I was in a hurry to go to classes or meetings. Nevertheless, this time around, I had written all these advices down in my notebook. My husband then encouraged me to compile all these writing into a book.

I never thought that I could write. I spent more than ten years being an academician and had never tried writing except for academic papers and lecture notes. If not because of my bold decision to leave my full time job, I would not even have time to realize that I actually have another skill. Obviously it still needs a lot of polishing.

I do not have a Degree in Journalism. Yet, I have this writing skill and never knew about it until I decided to step out of my comfort zone. I always thought that I only know how to give lectures and being an academician was the only thing that I had ever tried so far.

So that was the story about how I managed to self-publish two motivational books and one law textbook after I quit my full time job. I found a new skill that actually helped me in paying some of my bills. Although not much for a start, but I believe there was a reason why my path was destined to be this way. Looking back on the decision I took over two years ago, I really have no regrets.

I am enjoying every moment of putting pen to paper and receiving positive comments about them. The readers had given beautiful feedbacks and that had encouraged me to write even more. I am happy that I had found my muse and actually earning from it.

2017-08-04T17:16:46+00:00

About the Author:

I am a freelance writer and translator with legal background but before that I used to be a lecturer attached at a public university for more than 10 years. My writings are mostly inspired by my experiences at the university as an educator. I had authored 3 books so far, (2 motivational Submitting to Allah, Candle in the Wind and 1 legal series, Law of Contract Made Simple for Laymen). All of my books are available on Amazon. Since I had found my passion in writing, I started a blog www.ziedanazri.com and write regularly. I had also sent some of my articles to a few websites and they were published.

4 Comments

  1. Rafiq Rahim August 4, 2017 at 6:42 pm - Reply

    What an article to start my morning with.. Keep writing, Ma’am.. Wishing you all the best for your future undertakings in the valley of journalism..

    • Zieda Nazri August 4, 2017 at 7:54 pm - Reply

      Thank you so much for reading Rafiq Rahim. Hopefully this article can benefit you too 🙂 Please do share the article ya.

  2. Zahra August 4, 2017 at 8:00 pm - Reply

    Very motivational & inspiring article. Thanks for sharing your life story, I feel like a light been shown through the dark tunnel.

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