LIBIDO (OR LACK-THERE-OF)
We all know someone with an active libido, the horn dog, they can get jiggy on command, get turned on from an accidental hand brush, have that fire burning between their loins….ya, I’m not like that. At all.
But this puppy dog has chosen me as his very loving, always appreciative, rarely horny, girlfriend. And that is hard (for both of us).
Let’s focus on the ladies for a moment.
I know that I am not the only female out there who suffers from low sex drive, in a 2008 study 43% of women reported having sexual problems – that’s a lot of us.
A low sex drive can be caused by a wide array of things including physical issues such as diabetes and heart disease, pain (often causes by sex – see the upcoming post on LUBE), and psychological issues such as depression, anxiety, stress, and low self-esteem.
Lastly, many medications cause a decreased libido – anti-depressants, anti-seizure medications, AND….BIRTH CONTROL – how unfair is that.
BC has been my arch nemesis for some time (well, since the dawn of my sex days). I have had numerous side effects – something I will post about at a later date. Anyone else have issues with it?? Let me know in the comments.
SO now that I, with the help of my doctor, we have found a form of BC that causes me almost no side effects…I work with the lacking libido in lieu of dealing with some of the uglier potential side effects. (Nuva Ring, if anyone is curious – I highly recommend).
How does the BF handle all of this? Well…not well…initially. But we are both working hard to improve the open lines of communication and keep the sex spark alive.
So how do we maintain a healthy relationship? We constantly work at it, and are not always perfect, but check out the main points below:
1. Determine the cause of your lacking sex drive, do you enjoy sex? (For me – YES, it just takes me longer to get the motor started up). Is it a psychological issue? A pain issue? Talk to your doctor about it, they may have some options for you.
2. Talk, and talk, and talk some more. Communication is super important in all aspects of a relationship, but it is crucial that your partner understands what you (and they) are dealing with.
3. Show your love in other ways. Make it known that your partner is loved through words, gestures, physical contact, or whatever makes yours/their love wheel spin. The warm fuzzies don’t just come from making love.