The Biggest Mistake a Stay at Home Mom Might Be Making

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The Biggest Mistake a Stay at Home Mom Might Be Making

The number one fear a stay at home mom has is that they aren’t making their husband happy. Juggling after-school activities, kids, shopping, cleaning, and bedtime, husbands are usually the first to be thrown to the back burner.

As a mom, and a wife, that haunts me when I go to bed at night.

Did I take time to make my husband happy today?
Well… He did come home and see that the living room hadn’t been picked up. And he did notice that the same load of laundry was de-wrinkling for the third day in a row. And I told him I was too tired to do anything but pass out when I hit the bed. Ugh!

But so much happened today… Our daughter needed help with homework. The baby wouldn’t let me walk away or play by himself. The puppies tracked mud in from outside. The excuses are endless and quick to jump out to defend my tired body enough for me to drift off to sleep with a muttered “I love you”.

Love is an action. I fail to remember this fact more times than not. Think about the one person who has the biggest heart and the most perfect love, God. The bible says that God’s love is perfect. So perfect that He loved us sacrificially. He sent His only son, Jesus, to the world to save it by dying a death that He didn’t even deserve!

When you look at love from a faith perspective, you actually see that kind of love that we speak about when we talk about our husbands… True love.

The fact that perfect love is shown through sacrifice, is the exact reason why most marriages fall apart.
The husband, or the wife, or both, forget that with love comes sacrifice.

It’s so easy to fall into the “I, Me, Mine” kind of mentality, especially if you’ve been married for a decent amount of time. This time last year, I would sit and wonder when I hit that way of thinking in my marriage. And the fact that I even asked myself that question proved just how easy it was to fall out of love with my significant other and fall into love with selfishness and pride.

My husband and I claimed 2016 as our year of healing and putting each other first. We didn’t have a bad marriage, we just both had bad attitudes. Here is one of the strategies I used to build a strong foundation in my own life so that I could hold up my side of the marriage when I needed to.

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Love is an action.

I can’t rely on my words to express how I feel about my husband. Most of the time husbands don’t hear what we’re saying anyway… Except mine, he listens all the time! 😉

But, on those rare occasions where he’s under water, or standing next to a jet engine, and can’t hear what I am saying, it’s important to show him how much he means to me too!

One of the ways I made an effort to learn how to love him better was by completing the Love Language Test and asking him to do the same.

In short, this test is something you can complete to learn what makes you feel loved.

For example, one of my husband’s languages is service. Little things like cleaning off the bathroom counter, neck massages, making his breakfast… these are all things I do for him and in return, make him feel loved.

Our marriage is not perfect and we have a lot to work on before it ever will be (Note: Marriage in general has never and will never be perfect). But by working on it every day, we get closer – which gives us strength to withstand whatever comes our way.

A strong marriage is beyond valuable when you start mixing being a homemaker and having multiple children into it.

And real quick before I sign out of this post, being truly grateful for the marriage you have and especially the husband you have is the key to keeping you both happy and in a healthy relationship.

You bring your own set of hang ups to your marriage, don’t forget that. Appreciate and be thankful for the good things your husband brings. Gratitude keeps love unbreakable.

My husband is the most thoughtful, kind, compassionate, giving, irresistible man in the world. But I didn’t notice all of that until I started being thankful that he was mine


About the Author:

My name is Shela. I am married to an insanely handsome, overwhelmingly kind, and incredibly talented (in many ways) man, Lee. Together, we have two children - our daughter is nine years old and our son is two. My husband works hard to provide for our home so that I can have the opportunity to stay at home with our kids. We strive to keep Jesus in the center of our home and that mission is what helped me to launch I Answer to Mom almost three years ago.