So you’ve found yourself at the end of another relationship.
You’re probably working your way through those five stages of grief right now (denial, anger, rationalizing, depression, and acceptance). You’ve reluctantly made it through the first three and realized that you need to start really moving on – because no one can live on chocolate, ice cream, and cupcakes forever no matter how badly we wish we could.
So, buckle down, have yourself a really great cry, shut down from the world for a couple days, and get to recharging those wonderful qualities of single life you know you have!! Don’t believe me? Try these nifty hacks to get you back to being that fabulous you.
1. Nix those self-help books
Now I’m all for self-improvement; but, there is a time and a place. Now is NOT the time to be forcing yourself into the world of self-help and boo-hoo poor you. Save that book on how to survive your single years and find something juicy to dive into! And I’m not talking about those mushy, oh so deliciously sinful, smut novels that are all the rage now. I MEANT IT, PUT DOWN THE SEXY PIRATE BOOK AND WALK AWAY! Find something that will make your brain work. Thrillers, detective novels, or that book of essays by your favorite comedian (Might I recommend Not that Kind of Girl by Lena Duhnam). Give your heart a break.
2. Load up on those affirmations
I know, I know. This goes against what I said about ditching the self help books; but this is different. This is giving yourself a break from the negative thoughts that follow a break-up. You know the ones I’m talking about: I’m going to be single forever; why can I not hold on to someone; I thought this one was the one…. STOP IT! You are beautiful. You are funny. You are smart! Your forever just hasn’t come around yet; but they will. That cliched there’s someone for everyone has to be true.
3. Take some much needed me-time
It’s easy to call in the squad to bear witness to your ugly crying and self-doubt. But be honest with yourself, if you aren’t willing to listen to yourself saying you ARE beautiful and YES right now this sucks and NO you are not going to be single forever, then why would you listen to your best friends? You are your best and worst critique. Right now you do not need a slap of reality, you need to be able to walk around in that ugly t-shirt with holes and your underwear with your hair a frizzy mess and ROCK IT! Because break-ups take time to heal. Regardless of the amount of time you spent together, a few weeks to a few years – it still sucks and don’t let anyone tell you differently! So turn off that phone, stock up on those movies that you know are awful and can’t help but love, and just revel in the perfect silence that comes with just being you!
4. Call in the squad!
Alright, alone time is over. It’s time to get back into the world. Wash your face. Put on something that’s not yoga pants. And get out there! Go grab lunch, take a stroll through the aisles of your favorite store, listen to a band. Just get out there and be with your people. It is your choice to talk about your ex – but really, at this point just don’t do it. You’re doing yourself more harm revisiting past events that you have already pondered while eating an entire of package of Oreos on your own. Laugh. Dance. Sing. Do whatever, just allow yourself to live.
5. Make a change and invest in yourself
This can be a new hair cut or color. Feng shui your apartment. Take a jazzercise class. Sometimes the worst part of a break-up is the realization of all the time you have that you once devoted to another person. So fill it and enjoy it. Even if it’s one of those Paint Nite events and the project is way above your skill level; do like Nike and just do it! Hang that painting with pride as a daily reminder of what a badass you are!
Smile because you can do things on your own and kick ass at it. No one is better at being you than you. And in all reality, that relationship didn’t work out for a reason. Better to bear the pain now than 10 years down the road and look back on your life with regret and resentment. We all have our own paths to follow. We constantly find crossroads where we have to make the choice to go left or right. It doesn’t matter which path you take, as long as you take it with pride. Smile like the boss you are and keep kissing those frogs until your prince comes along.
You are BEAUTIFUL.
You are PERFECT.
You are WORTH A MILLION IN GOLD AND MORE!