Let me start off by saying, being a young mom DOES NOT make you a failure. Wanna know what makes you a failure? Putting young woman down at one of the most fragile times in their lives.
Finding out that you are going to have to be in charge of another human’s life when you don’t even have all of your life together is very and I mean very frightening. I remember pacing back and forth in my living room anxiously awaiting my mom to get home so that I could tell her I was pregnant. Most terrifying thing ever.
1. Ignore, Ignore, Ignore the A**holes…
One of the biggest things that can hurt you is getting caught up in all the negative comments. There will ALWAYS be people who will try and put you down. It’s inevitable. But the best thing you can do is ignore them.
YOU have a responsibility as a mom to be a positive role model for your child. You can’t spend your time begging people for acceptance or trying to make them like you. Stop focusing on what people are saying about you and start focusing on proving to them why they are wrong.
2. Keep your party life on the DL…
Listen! I completely understand and support going out, hanging with friends, and having a good time. Nothing wrong with that at all. Believe me, I wish I had more time to do so myself.
With that being said, going out every single weekend and getting black out drunk while your friends are posting pictures of you kneeling over the toilet throwing up the 50 to many drinks you had earlier, probably isn’t the best image.
In my opinion, whether you are at home in pjs watching Law & Order SVU or you are at the hottest club in downtown Chicago, you are a mom first. I feel as that you should wear that as your biggest and brightest accessory.
You are young, you want to go out, by all means please DO IT. But let’s be adults. Let’s be classy. Let’s be parents.
3. Work work work work work (sing it like the Rihanna song)
If you are anything like me, you may work a heck of a lot… which totally, absolutely, undeniably sucks. It’s probably not a job that you’re in love with and even though you work so much, it still feels like it’s not enough money.
However… You have a roof over you and your child’s head. You have a vehicle to take you and your child to the grocery store, where you may only have a little bit of money, but you are able to provide yourselves with a meal. You are providing.
I constantly talk about how I need more money or how I wish I could do more for my daughter… and honestly, that’s true. But whats also true is that she is taken care of. She is healthy. She is happy. She knows nothing of my struggles, because I stand there with a smile on my face and do my job as a mother, which is to provide everything that she needs.
4. Be confident…
Your confidence may seem to be dwindling down with how much hatred you get off of social media. It seems like you almost can’t find decent motivation anywhere. It’s hard to be confident, especially when you feel as if you could or should be doing better. But you need to continue to talk positive to yourself.
Remind yourself of all that you have accomplished and that you are doing the best you can. I found my confidence once I realized I needed to stop trying to be someone else’s definition of a ‘good mom’ and started being my own.
5. Keep yourself healthy…
Sometimes you get so caught up in taking care of little ones that you completely forget that you need to make yourself a priority as well. You need to take care of you too.
If your constantly focused on others you’re not going to be giving them your absolute best. Take that extra time before you wake your kid(s) up in the morning to take a couple minutes longer in the shower or take the time to actually do your hair rather than throwing it up in that messy bun you wear everyday.
Once you start caring for yourself, it automatically makes you happier. Then you have your best face on for your children.
“Have your coffee in one hand, and have confidence in the other”