Every night it is the routine; and in all reality it’s more like a constant battle! If you’re reading this, you probably know what I’m talking about – that clumsy bedtime dance known as insomnia. Insomnia comes in all shapes and sizes. Some people may sleep on and off throughout the night, tossing and turning. Some may realize at the most inopportune moment they are wide awake and mind running like a hamster on a wheel all night. Others probably sleep short amount of time, never feeling rested, never dreaming.. Maybe you are one of these people, maybe a combination… Either way, you know these 33 nagging thoughts of insomnia.
1. OOOkay here we go. Time for bed. checks facebook, twitter, instagram, snapchat
2. [10 minutes later] Alright so not so tired yet. No worries… I’ll just check out Netflix
3. Binge watches OITNB…. shit it’s 1AM… mmm should really go to bed
4. I wonder who decided when “bedtime” was?
5. Do I really have a “bedtime?” I mean, I’m an adult…..
6. I wonder if it really matters which way I sleep..
7. I think I sleep all over… but I definitely start on my stomach…
8. Is that normal? Are there studies for how a person sleeps?
9. This bed is NOT comfortable…
10. Ugh it’s so hot..
11. Is it possible to have too many pillows and blankets?
12. Wow 230AM and still wide awake… no big deal
13. Finally a comfortable position…
14. Oh my, is my leg hanging off the bed? Fix that… not tonight boogeyman!!
15. Who came up with that anyways? Who would tell a child if they slept with body parts off the bed some monster would come and kidnap them?
16. Oh my, remember that one Disney movie about the Boogeymen? WHAT THE HELL DISNEY!?
17. Hmmm maybe I’ll just peruse Pinterest for a little bit…
18. Hey Siri – look up natural remedies for insomnia.
19. Hey siri – look up remedies for insomnia that doesn’t include using things I don’t have.
20. Alright meditation.. I can do this… Yeah. Breathe in….. hold.. breathe out……. breathe in…. I could go for a peanut butter oreo blizzard right about now… Oh shit .. breathe out…
21. Alright so it’s 345 so if I could fall asleep in 10 minutes I will get like 4 hours of sleep? I can rock that..
22. I’m gunna need a whole lot of caffeine tomorrow.
23. Like triple shot that latte Barista lady…
24. Aww puppy…. She must be dreaming… Chasing something.
25. Alright now stop it! 4:30AM I need to turn it down….
26. One.. Two.. Three… GOODNIGHT!
27. …. Mother eff…
28. Checks phone…
29. Ads new pinterest boards
30. Oh eyes are finally getting heavy!!!!
31. Snuggle. Snuggle. Good night…
33. [alarm clock] beep beep beep beep …… damn it.
For those struggling with insomnia, fear not! You are not alone! Almost everyone deals with periods of restlessness at some point in their life. Remember to be patient with yourself, and your body. Try looking into your sleep hygiene (those routines and behaviors you engage in before bed) and re-establish a healthy routine! Until then… Starbucks!